Ever wonder WHY?
Why here or now?
Why him or her?
Why can’t I get a break?
Why my child????
Over the last couple of years, I have had a lot of WHY? questions run through my head....some verbalized and other not, some I reacted to and others I fought not to because these days I have to pick & choose my battles carefully --- and there’s only so much of me to go around (no wonder I’m on Lexapro and Ambien).
It has taken a long time to the answer about why we were back in Union, but eventually I did --- there is no way we could have ever accomplised what we have for Autism Awareness like we have been able to here. We have found people to fight with us, for us and others against us; however, we have remained strong (on the outside).
I still don’t know why Kyle has autism, but somedays it’s a lot clearer than others...like when he touches someone’s heart with his smile or simple touch of the hand. And through this connections we have managed to break through beariers, touch lives, raise a little money for Autism Speaks (autism awareness), make life long friends that will be part of our family for the rest of our lives and even make International connections for autism awareness.
In the midst of it all, I have learned (borrowing a phrase from a close friend) that life “moves a little faster for some and slower for others” which puts you in a position to wonder “what could have been”. But you face reality and deal with what you were dealt.
I know that one day I will be having a very long conversation with GOD ‘bout these struggles but until then I have to pray for the strength to accomplish whatever needs to be done in my lifetime. I hope that you, our friends & family, will be there with us wherever the road leads to support our efforts even though you may not agree with our methods or life’s choices sometimes. Just know that we love you more than you will ever know!
2 comments:
Besty, my thoughts are with you and I have NO doubt that the challenges that any of us face are all a part of God's great plan.
Kyle is a lucky boy to have such a wonderful mama ... and how blessed you are to have him in your life.
Rock on Phelps sister. Rock on!! :)
I think you hit the nail on the head about some of the "whys." One of the biggest revelations God showed me as to why our daughter was born with Autism is that it was to help mold me more into His image. Before she came along I had no idea how selfish I was. Now, I see His goal to sift these things from me.
Stay strong and keep your eyes on God.
Nancy
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